Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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