1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
