My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
