so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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