Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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