i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just found a bag of teeth...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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