I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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