Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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