I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
