Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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