i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize