i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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