Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how does that bad decision feel?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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