its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize