i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
