I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
