Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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