Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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