wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
