it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
