He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
