I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
