Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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