i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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