I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
