We're like a lot better than the average bears
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize