Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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