Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
