3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
