Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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