i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
where does the pee come out of this thing
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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