Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
