this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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