you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
