and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
