I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.