Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
