would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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