well you can't waste a boner
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
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I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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