her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
