Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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