There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
