Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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