I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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