Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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