singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
