Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
