I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We have started to decorate penises.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
