You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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