A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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