Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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