We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wear drunk well.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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