using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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