So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
