so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
