I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i dont even know how to be here
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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