Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
