At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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